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	<title>AMPwerx &#187; Humour</title>
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		<title>Beware of the Baked Beans</title>
		<link>http://ampwerxmedia.com/site/miscellany/humor/beware-of-the-baked-beans/</link>
		<comments>http://ampwerxmedia.com/site/miscellany/humor/beware-of-the-baked-beans/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 02 Nov 2008 17:34:37 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>AMPower</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Humour]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[This is a short story of a lady who had given up one of favorite dishes (baked beans) for her husband-to-be, but after some time she broke down and indulged herself with embarrassing repercussions...]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Written by <a title="www.mydigitallife.co.za" href="http://www.mydigitallife.co.za/index.php?option=com_myblog&amp;blogger=Kmobile&amp;Itemid=100&amp;uid=4788">Kmobile</a><br />
Sunday, 03 August 2008</p>
<h3>It happens to some of us, especially humans.</h3>
<p>One day I met a sweet gentleman and fell in love. When it became apparent<br />
that we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.</p>
<p>Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home from<br />
work. Since I lived in the countryside I called my husband and told him<br />
that I would be late because I had to walk home. On my way, I passed by a<br />
small diner and the odor of baked beans was more than I could stand. With<br />
miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off any ill effects by the time<br />
I reached home, so I stopped at the diner and before I knew it, I had<br />
consumed three large orders of baked beans. All the way home, I made sure<br />
that I released ALL the gas.</p>
<p>Upon my arrival, my husband seemed excited to see me and exclaimed<br />
delightedly: &#8220;Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight!&#8221;</p>
<p>He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I took<br />
a seat and just as he was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone<br />
rang. He made me promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned and<br />
went to answer the call.</p>
<p>The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure<br />
was becoming most unbearable, so while my husband was out of the room I<br />
seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go. It<br />
was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a<br />
skunk in front of a pulpwood mill. I took my napkin from my lap and fanned<br />
the air around me vigorously.</p>
<p>Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more. The stink was<br />
worse than cooked cabbage!!!</p>
<p>Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, I<br />
went on like this for another few minutes.<br />
The pleasure was indescribable. When eventually the telephone farewells<br />
signaled the end of my freedom, I quickly fanned the air a few more times<br />
with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on it feeling<br />
very relieved and pleased with myself.</p>
<p>My face must have been the picture of innocence when my husband returned,<br />
apologizing for taking so long. He asked me if I had peeked through the<br />
blindfold, and I assured him I had not.</p>
<p>At this point, he removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seated<br />
around the table chorused: &#8220;Happy Birthday!&#8221;</p>
<p>I fainted!!!!!!!!!!!!!!</p>
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